Saturday, October 4, 2008

Why beer is better than a women

1. You can enjoy a beer all night long.

2. Beer stains wash out.

3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.

4. A beer will wait in the car while you go and play football.

5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.

6. Beer is never late.

7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

8. Hangovers go away.

9. Beer labels come off without a fight.

10. When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer.

11. Beer never has a headache.

12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.

13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.

14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.

15. A beer goes down easy.

16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.

17. You can share a beer with your friends.

18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.

19. Beer is always wet.

20. Beer doesn't demand equality.

21. You can have a beer in public.

22. A beer doesn't care when you come.

23. A frigid beer is a good beer.

24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

26. You can't catch social diseases from a beer.

27. When you're interrupted by a beer it's for a good reason.

28. A beer is always satisfying.

29. A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it.

30. A beer won't tell you its pregnant for fun.

31. A beer does not come with in-laws.

32. No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.

33. To cool off a beer, all you have to do is put it in the ice box.

34. All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.

35. Beer doesn't complain about farting.

36. The only thing a beer tells you is when its time to go to the bathroom.

37. You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party.

38. Its okay to leave a party with a different beer than the one you brought.

39. Beer won't drive you to drink.

40. You can shoot a beer.

41. A beer chaser is easier to catch.

42. You don't need a license to live with a beer.

43. A tree is good enough for a beer.

44. Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't.

45. Beer doesn't care how much you earn.

46. Beer and "ice" don't mix.

47. Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation--it goes along happily.

48. Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.

49. Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.

50. You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.

51. Beer never complains about a wet spot.

52. You can put all your old beers together in one room and they won't fight.

53. A beer doesn't bleed one week out of the month.

Words of wisdom as in Wine

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. and those who don't.
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials,
scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Tips for the ladies

Because of recent abduction in daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation... It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1 . Tip from Tae Kwon Do :

The elbow is the strongest point on your body.

If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans

If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,

DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM .

Toss it away from you....

chances are that he is more interested

in your wallet and/or purse than you,

and he will go for the wallet/purse.

RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car,

kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole

and start waving like crazy.

The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.

This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit(doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!)

The predator will be watching you, and this

is the perfect opportunity for him to get in

on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,

and tell you where to go.

AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR , LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

If someone is in the car with a gun to your head

DO NOT DRIVE OFF,

repeat:

DO NOT DRIVE OFF!

Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car..

Your Air Bag will save you.

If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it .

As soon as the car crashes

bail out and run.

It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5 . A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor , and in the back seat

B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door . Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side.. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.

(Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control,

ALWAYS RUN!

The predator will only hit you (a running target)

4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.

RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:

STOP

It may get you raped, or killed.

Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking,

well educated man, who ALWAYS played

on the sympathies of unsuspecting women.

He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often

asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle,

which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point:

Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her

'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby

had crawled near a window, and she was worried

that it would crawl to the street and get run over.

The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,

whatever you do, DO NOT open the door..'

He told her that they think a serial killer

has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax

women out of their homes thinking that someone

dropped off a baby He said they have not verified it,

but have had several calls by women saying that

they hear baby's cries outside their doors

when they're home alone at night.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door

for a crying baby ----

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Why Chinese should not have English names

This is hilarious

Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:

Anne Chang
(Mandarin)-Dirty

Anne Chin
(Mandarin) - Keep quiet

Faye Chen
(Mandarin) - Dusty

Carl Cheng
(Hokkien) - Buttock

Monica Cheng
Hokkien) - Touching your buttocks

Lucy Leow
(Hokkien) - You are dead

Jane Tan
(Mandarin) - Frying eggs

Suzie Leow
(Hokkien) - Lost till death

Henry Mah
(Mandarin) - Hate your mum

Corrine Tai
(Hokkien) - Poor fellow

Paul Chan
(Mandarin) - Bankrupt

Nelson Tan
(Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs

Leslie Tong
(Mandarin) - Rubbish bin

Carmen Teng
(Hokkien) - Leg hair long

Connie Mah
(Cantonese) - Call your mother

Danny See
(Hokkien) - Squeeze you to death

Rosie Teng
(Hokkien) - Screws and nails

Pete Tsai
(Hokkien) - Nose droppings

Macy Koh
(Cantonese) - Never die before

Monday, September 22, 2008

Farewell to Yun Ling


Well overall its not bad, I just find the sushi dry. There is quite a lot of variety but not as much as other sushi places. The ambiance is good and the service is efficient. The buffet dinner was RM57 after tax so it is not very expensive i think... as this is the first time I have Japanese.

Well, I did not really say a proper goodbye to Yun Ling so I guess I'll msg her or something. And thanks to Wooi Quan for being my chauffeur for the day, will be yours when there is other gathering and when the situation allows... :P

Friday, September 5, 2008

Word Play

I found this in the net and thought I'll share it. Someone out there either has too much

spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.

(Wait till you see the last one)!



DORMITORY:

When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM



PRESBYTERIAN:

When you rearrange the letters:BEST IN PRAYER



ASTRONOMER:

When you rearrange the letters:MOON STARER



DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:A ROPE ENDS IT



THE EYES:

When you rearrange the letters:THEY SEE



GEORGE BUSH:

When you rearrange the letters:HE BUGS GORE



THE MORSE CODE:

When you rearrange the letters:HERE COME DOTS



SLOT MACHINES:

When you rearrange the letters:CASH LOST IN ME



ANIMOSITY:

When you rearrange the letters:IS NO AMITY



ELECTION RESULTS:

When you rearrange the letters:LIES - LET'S RECOUNT



SNOOZE ALARMS:

When you rearrange the letters:ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S



A DECIMAL POINT:

When you rearrange the letters:IM A DOT IN PLACE



THE EARTHQUAKES:

When you rearrange the letters:THAT QUEER SHAKE



ELEVEN PLUS TWO:

When you rearrange the letters:TWELVE PLUS ONE



AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:



MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:

WOMAN HITLER

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Sorry for the long dissappearance

Sorry for leaving my blog stagnant for 4 months, i totally forgotten all about it!! Due to persistent request by my dear friend back in Ipoh to update my blog, I finally gave in and did it since I started it in the first place. There are so many things that had happen so here is the summation:

*Graduated as a merit scholar in ICPU
*Bought a new hand phone, Sony Ericsson K810i
*Birth of my new nephew, Jariel
*Start of my University life in RMIT(Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology), taking accountancy.
*keeping up with the fast pace uni life.
*learn how to play Foosball
*Dinesh leaving for India in August
*Scholars leaving to Canada

Well... thats about all thats happened. Not very interesting but it is what it is. well... gotto go back to my homework now, I promise i'll be updating it frequently this time.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Torn to be either a good friend, good student, or a good son...

*sigh*
It is almost the end of my semester and this is the time where all the ISU and CCA comes in. It would had been great if my problems were just that, but life had never been more hectic.

First, I got myself involved in the prom and the yearbook comittee. The yearbook is not doing well as people are not corporating at all. There are just a handfull of us doing the work, I feel tired but I am not a quiter. I would not quit just because it is hard. Besides, I need this to be in my application so that I have a chance of getting a scholarship.

I know how much a University education cost but so far I just could not find a way to be a high achiever. My marks are okay, still above 80 but I need it to be better... *sigh*

Lastly, there is this question about my social life...
My good friend had been having problems and as a friend i feel like i have to be there for her, and it is not easy balancing all these stuff in my life. I really envy those who can, I wish I knew how I can just be all 3, a good son, a good student and a good friend, it has been hard balancing alll these..........

Man..... I seriously hope i have the strength to pull through just one more month... I got to pay attention to my exam now.. God help me

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Random Post


I think the management cannot afford toilet papers


This is found in a school, typical.

Who's tired of their cracked heels?


"SCREW YOU!!"

Monday, April 28, 2008

Current Teenage Trend

Nowadays blogging seem to be the 'it' thing for teenagers. They spend time infront of the computer or laptop and type down their thoughts, concerns, insecurities, and for most people, how their day was. Ironically, these things are what parents would like to know form their children.

We would rather let the WORLD know how our day was than TELLING our own parents. I mean, how wierd is that? I think that bloging has became such a fad for teenagers because they find it as a way to vent their frustrations. Perhaps parents has stop asking when their kids became more and more protective and secretive about their live. We would rather open up to the world than opening up to our love ones how we feel.

Perhaps parents could start reading their kid's blog to find out how their say has been, but then again, is that nessesary?

Friday, April 25, 2008

SUBWAY ACROSS THE STREET!!!!!!!

OH YES!!!!!!!!! A SUBWAY OUTLET IS OPENING ACROSS MY COLLEGE!!!!!!!
No more Asia Cafe for ME!!!!!!!!!
Oh they better open up before I graduate!!!
Now if only Wendy's and Carls Junior opens in 15 too.

Marks Plataeu

AHHHH....... I HATE MY MARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!

I am doing so bad in my academic achievements now. My business leadership marks are ALWAYS AT 80 or 82!!!
My accounting marks are definitely droppin!!!!!!!!
AND MY ECONOMICS MARKS IS BELOW 80!!!!!!!!!!

F*** THE WORLD, F*** THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Missuse of language

Only from China, other country is okay.
Tough meat

Look Out!!!



and if you are dead, see a doctor.



Sunday, April 20, 2008

Friday, April 18, 2008

Im a Sick Boy


Im Sprung with a high fever and sore throat. It wasnt that bad yesterday because I just had throat pain and the Doctor gave me medications for it. But today morning when I woke up to go to college, it was a nightmare waking up because i feel like my throat has been plastered with semen. i cant move or even swallow my own salive. Haizz... i really hate being sick, but thats life right. So, selamba jela coz its all in the game and all i need is courage to overcome my sickness :)
1 comments


OMG this is a post that i took from my friend, read the highlighted part!!!

The Pig Issue



To those who live in Malaysia will have certainly heard of the latest pig issue. The Selangor's government would like to build a pig farm in Ladang Tumbuk, and it is expected in a country where Islam takes the majority, there would be protest over this issue. There are two groups, one who supports and one who opposes. The one who opposes are the ones who are insecure with their "malay status"

As you can see the banner states that "the land of the Malay's are traded for pigs"

I read "To Kill A Mockingbird" and I hate segregation and double standard. And I would like to remind the Malays that this is not their land only. We got our independence through unity and I can feel the unity dispersing.

BN lost this general election because the other races are scared of losing their place in this country, everyone is trying to get PR in other countries and stay there because they think it is only a matter of time before they lose their place in this society. Malaysia is facing brain drain because of this.

My suggestion to fix the brain drain, let us see that there is a place for other races other than Malays in this country.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Jokes*

okay so the guy
near the
end of his
senior
year in high school.
Unfortunately,
he still has to share a room with his
younger
brother who is only 9
years
old.


One night, he decides to bring his
girlfriend home
for a little fun.
They
have bunk beds and the guy notices that
his little
brother is already
asleep
on the lower bunk, so he and his
girlfriend climb
up
to the top bunk.
As you
might expect things start to heat up.


The guy remembers that his little
brother
is
sleeping below so he tells
his
girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she
wants
it
harder and "tomato" if
she
wants a new position.


Lettuce!!!


Tomato!!!


Lettuce!!!


Tomato!!!


Lettuce!!!


Tomato!!!


She screams.


Lettuce!!!


Tomato!!!


Whoa!!!


PULL IT OUT!!!


PULL IT OUT NOW!!!


I can get pregnant!


Then the little brother shouts up,
"Hey, would you guys stop making
sandwiches up there! You're getting
mayonnaise
all over my
face!*!*!*!*!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A chance in front of me.... I let it slip....

I checked my mail and I found that there is a mail from a modeling agent. He sent me to say that I was picked and I am required to attend an interview at One Utama at 2 p.m. tomorrow. I was thrilled when I read the mail but somehow, I was scared too.

I could not understand why I was scared, I'd loved an opportunity like this, but I was stunned when it was really in front of me.....

It would be unlikely that I would go for the interview, I do not have transport anyways, I have the feeling that I would regret letting this pass me by, but this thought could not overcome the feeling and the fear of trying something new, and hear the word "No"

Funny Pictures

Who thinks that children are innocent??

If every animal knows how to defend their territory like this
chipmunk does, humans will have a big problem.

Ain't it cute?

What I see blog is...

Today I was going throught other people's blog, going through to see what I can write in my own blog. Then I realized something, every blogger sound so DEPRESSED!!!

I felt my emotions getting zipped away little my little and before I know it, I was not in the mood to do anything at all.

Is life really that depressing? Are sad stories, heart breaks and failures the things that revolves around ones life everyday? Is it all there is to it in life? Nothing but waves of depression?

But, ironically, I am one of those depressing bloggers. Is everyones life so similar?
*sigh**sigh*

You know what, I am going to anti-depress my blog. I am going to post as many beautiful and joyful events that happen is my life. So, for those depressed bloggers out there, stop depressing others with your sob stories. I am not saying don't express yourself, just post more happy events than sad ones in your blog. Okay??

Sunday, April 13, 2008

I'm already addicted

OMG... I cannot believe it. After posting my first entry for a couple of hours, here I am posting another one. I am so lifeless!!!! I cannot believe it!!!

I have done my part of the assignments, now i am waiting for one of my friends to send me his part.

Hm... This got me thinking... How many of you out there prefer to work individually on assignments and how many of you prefer to work in groups?

We all know there are pros and cons for both... but lets just that I prefer working alone. Why? Heres why...

Of all the assignments that I had done, I got full marks for all the individual assignments, for the assignments that are done in groups, I got average marks.

Every time I have to work in groups I just feel so reluctant to work with them. Because most of them are not cooperative in the first place!! They either did not do their work or simply done it, making me re-do it for them. Only a couple of people are serious, the others are just useless. *sigh*

I need a financial help going to a University.. and by the looks of it I won't be getting any... *CURSE*

My first entry and official entrance into the world of blogging

Hei you all out there who are the first person who view my first post. I'll be writing stuff ranging from politics to music to life in general. I do not know what am I thinking of to expose my personal thoughts to the general public around the world. But since everyone is doing it, I am joining in too!!

I'll be starting off by complaining about my assignments and case studies. *sigh*

I'll be graduating from Pre-U soon and getting my diploma (hopefully with high distinctions) and the workload is starting to make its presence felt. *sigh* I have all together 2 case study, 2 reports , 1 test, and 1 assignment. All due next week, yet here I am using up my precious time writing this entry.

Well, I better stop here.. Or else I'll be up all night finishing all the stuff.
Till next time.